Death by Oil

I spent a good portion of my day yesterday reading up on recent news. While straining through multiple articles about the continued oil disaster in the Gulf Coast, I ran across a story about a Louisiana fisherman, Captain William Allen-Kruse, who took his own life on Thursday. Kruse had been hired by BP as part of the rescue/clean up effort that the oil company is "spear-heading." (I put "spear-heading" in quotes because of the deep distrust I have of BP's sincerity surrounding their clean-up campaign.)

The article said that Kruse's family and friends had no idea that anything was wrong. The captain showed no signs of psychological unrest and was only as upset as his comrades about the damage this spill was causing to southern industry. Apparently, though, two weeks of working out in the oil, stench, and dead wildlife had a huge impact on him. I shudder to think of the depression that Kruse must have endured those last couple weeks. Every minute he was witnessing the further deterioration of his culture, way of life, and livelihood. A fisherman his whole life, he was now raising his 13 year old son to follow in his footprints. He was going to retire next year, one of the articles said. And yet, seconds after docking and asking his crew to go pick up something, Captain William Allen-Kruse shot himself in the head.

Kruse's death, as tragic as it is, brings light to an even more tragic reality. Everyone has been focusing on the damage that Deep Water Horizon's spill (now 42,000 gallons per day by latest estimate) is causing to the gulf - fish, birds, plants, coral reefs, microscopic creatures that feed the fish...the entire ecosystem is being destroyed. God forbid a hurricane or other large storm passes through, flinging oil further out into the gulf and further east along the coast.

The media has been been connecting the destruction of the ecosystem to the destruction of the fishing and vacation industries all along the coast, but as far as I am aware, the media has never commented on how this is affecting individuals. The story of this captains death was the first mention that I had seen about the psychological trauma this disaster can have upon humans. It is heart wrenching enough for people like me, safe in Maryland, to see images of rescued sea gulls, unrecognizable as birds, fully blanketed by thick dollops of oil. I can only imagine what it must be like for the people of the gulf coast who have devoted their lives to the waters they live on. How will they provide for their families now? What will they do with their lives now that the only way of life that they know is so brazenly stripped from them?

It is going to take years for the outcomes of this "safety oversight" to be corrected. I can see the Gulf Coast economy still reeling from this decades down the road. Recovery is not just about skimming oil off the surface of the water (as many years as that will taken in and of itself) and capping the well; that's only where it starts. Think about all the oil floating beneath the surface. Think about the marine life that needs to resurrect itself from the ashes. Think about the culture that will change dramatically as a result of such a long halt in aquatic activity (food and travel industries in addition to the average joe from that area).

As much as I feel the need to keep updated on just one in an infinite line of failures on the part of greedy America, I can't but feeling sick to my stomach when I think of the equally infinite consequences this will have on our entire country, if not the world.

Thank you for battery operated cars and solar power!

Thank you 2

Thank you for the knowledge of how to prevent jinxes!

Thank You!

My friend started a blog recently and, in some very rare free time from job searching, I decided to finally take a look at it. He started it a couple weeks ago with his three year old daughter to teach her the virtues of acknowledging gratefulness for everything in life. Once a day, they post something that Sophie is thankful for: one day the posting read, "Thank you for Simba!" another day the posting read, "Thank you for Care Bears!" All simple things to us grown ups, but things that seem very special to a three year old.

For the past month or so I haven't felt very thankful for much of anything. I have my moments of gratefulness for a kindness here or there, but in general I have been very stressed by my futile job hunting, unexpected car payments, otherworldly lack of success getting my post-collegiate life started, and general anxiety about my future.

Now, this is starting to sound a lot like a list of grievances, which is not at all how I intended it. I think that it is very important to always keep in mind the people and things that you are thankful for. The world is so busy in this day and age that we only set aside one day out of the year to show our thanks, which is why Ken and Sophie's blog warmed my heart so much. Her innocent "Thank you for a sleepover with Alyssa!" inspired me to search my heart for things that I am thankful for. In a time of such stress I think that it's really important for me to keep in mind all the things in my life that I really should be happy about.

I challenge everyone to spend a couple seconds each day brainstorming something that they are thankful for. Let's try to make our lives a little more cheery!

So, from now on I am going to create a daily post for things in my life that I am thankful for. I pray that some of them will be as innocent as Sophie's!

I am thankful for sudden realizations that there is always something to be happy about, no matter how dark life seems.

The Epic Tale of my Car's Obstinate Nature

Well, the day started out fairly productively. I was making decent progress with my local listings for my new job with Patch.com. I was certainly on a roll with the Chinese restaurants, anyway. (They must have recognized that I was Jewish - the Jews and the Chinese have a very special bond.) But then, I dared to venture out of Wheaton to a Randolph Rd. shopping center where three of my listings were located. I hit the first store - a beauty supply store. Check. I hit the second store - a convenience store. The manager wasn't there and the uneducated clerk didn't know anything about the business. Sort of Check. I hit the third store. The manager kicked me out...ungrateful *(&#&*(^#*. I told him I'd be back later when he was less busy.

On the way back to my car I called my mother for help finding some random 'Price Street.' I turned down Randolph but was blocked by construction. I U-ied. I headed down Georgia to find an alternate route. I was blocked at every illegal left turn. Finally, I approached GlenAllen Rd. Suddenly, I tasted sweat on my lip and the realization that my car was stifling hot hit me like a smack from the hot pavement on which I was driving.

"Hmm, why isn't my air conditioning working?" I asked my mom, who was still on the line. She made some non-committal noise followed by an unenthusiastic comment about focusing on finding where I needed to go. Of course I ignored said comment.

Once stopped at a red light in the left turn lane of GlenAllen Rd I focused my full attention to the air conditioning. I swiveled the dial onto full blast. Before you could say "Gobbledegook" (the language of Goblins for you uneducated nerds) the gauges on my dashboard when haywire, the speedometer reading 140mph, the other thingy all the way up to 7, and the engine died. For a moment I did nothing, utterly confused by why the engine was off but "ella-ella-ella"s were still lilting from the speakers. Didn't take me too long to squeak out,

"Mama...I think my car just died."

Then I entered frantic mode. I took the key out of the ignition, put it back in, tried to turn the car on again and was greeted by all the dashboard lights flashing uncontrollably and a grunting noise. My mom called AAA and soon a truck came to check the battery. He said that he thought the problem was in the alternator (the part that charges the battery). He called in an order for a tow truck and drove away to leave me, once again, stranded on Georgia Avenue.

Soon a cop car pulls up behind me and the cop goes, "please tell me you didn't run out of gas." I laughed and told him that I had a call in to AAA. He wanted me to put the car in Neutral so he could give me a nudge and we'd move my car onto a side road. I told him that I didn't think that would work and showed him the problem with the gauges. "Yea, that's a problem," was his Academy inspired response. He went to set up flairs around my car (AWESOMEE) but didn't have any :( So he called another car to come set up some for me and drove away to leave me, once again, stranded on Georgia Avenue. Of course, by the time the other cop got to me the tow truck was pulling up. So, I never got my flares, but i did get safely out of the road. I must weigh the options of which option was better in the long run...

Anyway, now my baby is staying at the doctor's over night. She's in capable hands so hopefully they can save her! I hope a new alternator isn't too pricey...

Moral of the story: OUR VEHICLES' MOOD SWINGS RUIN OUR LIVESSS!

Please see attached pictures of how scared my car was during this whole debacle...

Why Serendipity?

What's in a name? Interestingly, this was the first question that popped into my head when this registration screen asked what I wanted to name my blog. I knew I wanted something creative. I knew I wanted something that spoke of who I am and what my writing means to me. I didn't want to just copy my twitter name (pens_and_ink), even though that speaks volumes. I didn't want to come up with something pretentious and overly dramatic. I just wanted to show that through my writing - be it fiction, poetry, or pondering ramblings in my diary - I can work out any problems I might be having, or anything that I can't actually do in real life: solve crimes, etc.

My favorite type of story to write is one that ends up in a completely different place from the one I intended when I began writing. It's a constant reminder of how the story creates itself, the author is just the vesicle for words to find their voice. With every piece of writing comes a discovery never anticipated. A serendipitous moment.

Quotes

I am very finicky about what I dub a "favorite" quote. They need to represent how I feel at a particular moment, how I am, or how I want to be. It doesn't matter if the quote makes me laugh or cry, it needs to speak for me in order for it to merit being a "favorite".

Here are some of my favorites:

* "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

* "There are times when I find myself transfixed by a shadow on the wall or the splashing of water against a stone. I stare at it, the hours pass, the world around me slips away replaced by worlds being created and destroyed by my imagination."

* "Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall."

* "It doesn't matter what you're made of. What matters is WHO YOU ARE."

* “Curse thee, vile tendrils of morning’s bright wakenings. Fall back, in peace, to worlds where moon and stars abide.”
-- Me, November 2009 (upset that I had to wake up early)

* "Never stop laughing, never stop living, never stop loving, never stop dancing"
-- Sophomore year sometime I think

* “What cruel falsehood is this ringing clock?”
-- Me, March 2010 (again, upset that I had to wake up early; very tired)